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DUI Hire
Raymond Nat Turner, BAR poet-in-residence
10 Dec 2025
đŸ–šïž Print Article
Pete Hegseth

If DOGE is Department Of Grifter Enrichment—looking for Waste, 
Fraud and Abuse without mirrors— DOD is Drunk On Duty! Smooth
Blend of arrogance/incompetence on the rocks. Serving at the Parasite
Platoon’s pleasure: Play-Doh president/traitor/plaything of strongmen 


Chain-chain-chain—Chain of command
Chain-chain-chain—Chain of command
Captain Morgan, Jim Beam, Jack Daniels,
Johnny Walker, Dom Perignon, Bloody Mary.

“Kill them all!” 90 proof command. A shot of 
Brandy ordered from the bar. “Fake News” on Sunday—
“Didn’t know” on Monday. Twisting Teddy Roosevelt’s 
Gunboat diplomacy into slurred speech, to carry a Big Lie.

In The Fog Of Wine, “We’re at war!” with tiny boats of
Tuna and marlin fishermen. Their melancholy motors 
Moaning out to sea. To places of work. To sources of
Food.

In The Fog Of Wine, fishing poles become cannons!
Tiny boats morph into freighters transporting tons of 
Drugs! In the Fog Of Wine, tiny boats must be sunk—
Their threat forever eliminated!

In The Fog Of Wine, they are caught in nets of lethal
Big Lies—revolving around an orange wrecking ball.
Big lies flying from a Fox-box foot soldier, flying by
The seat of pants well-worn at the knee.

In The Fog Of Wine, vaporized bodies are props. For
Patton cosplay by Dark Age tattooed, pomade
Warlord wrapped in red, white, and blue SNAFU.
Señor Signal-Gate— giving new meaning to Mess Sergeant.

In The Fog Of Wine, blood-spilling— willy-nilly killing—
“Warrior’s ethos” of mustard seed-hearted sadists conducting white
Supremacist crusades. Purging US Imperialism’s Wehrmacht— and
The world— of  â€œWoke-ness.”

© 2025. Raymond Nat Turner, The Town Crier. All Rights Reserved.

Raymond Nat Turner is a NYC poet, BAR's Poet-in-Residence, and founder/co-leader of the jazz-poetry ensemble UpSurge!NYC. You can vote for his work at GoFundMe and PayPal.

Pete Hegseth
imperialism
Fascism

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