Black Agenda Report
Black Agenda Report
News, commentary and analysis from the black left.

  • Home
  • Africa
  • African America
  • Education
  • Environment
  • International
  • Media and Culture
  • Political Economy
  • Radio
  • US Politics
  • War and Empire
  • omnibus

The Honey Obadger: He Don’t Give a Shit
Randy Shields
17 Sep 2013
🖨️ Print Article

by Randy Shields

“Honey obadger has a silver tongue, really big ears for hearing everything said everywhere in the world, lives (politically) almost exclusively on killing Muslims and blends in well with whatever people want to believe they’re seeing.”

 

The Honey Obadger: He Don’t Give a Shit

by Randy Shields

This article previously appeared in Dissident Voice.

“Honey obadger tells the world he can kill anyone, anywhere.”

This is a brief description of the American honey obadger, sometimes confused with the African honey badger of this famous youtube video.

See the American honey obadger running around the Middle East. Oh, my God, he looks lost, he doesn’t seem to belong there… What’s he doing now… Oh, oh, look at him, he’s taking his paw and drawing a “red line” on Syria — he’s bringing the Middle East and maybe whole world to the brink of war — he don’t care. But now he says, “Oops, never mind.” Honey obadger don’t give a shit.

Honey obadger weeps barackodile tears for dead Syrian children while Afghani children dangle bloody and disfigured from his mouth. Honey obadger rips the faces off Pakistani children for breakfast and accepts Nobel Peace Prize for lunch. Honey obadger don’t give a shit. Honey obadger’s a real bad ass from 20,000 feet above and 10,000 miles away. Honey obadger can even run backwards, especially from Russian bear. Honey obadger don’t care, he don’t give a shit.

Honey obadger goes crazy in prime time with the whole world watching — he agonizes and feels the pain of people who died in World War I while he obliterates Yemeni children in the present. Honey obadger cynical and psychopathic as hell, he don’t give a shit. Honey obadger tells American people: don’t worry about retaliation for wrecking Syria, everybody hates us anyway. Keep hatred alive! Keep hatred alive! He learned that at Harvard. Honey obadger tells the world he can kill anyone, anywhere, anytime but says democracy is strengthened by letting Congress agree with him about murdering innocent people who never attacked America — honey obadger loves himself some US Constitution.

Honey obadger listed by the Guinness Book of World Records as the most hypocritical and insufferable of all animals in the political kingdom. Honey obadger has a silver tongue, really big ears for hearing everything said everywhere in the world, lives (politically) almost exclusively on killing Muslims and blends in well with whatever people want to believe they’re seeing. Often called the Rorschach obadger, he’s both the two faces and the empty vessel. But honey obadger don’t care, he really doesn’t give a shit.

“He just takes whatever and shacks up with whoever he wants.”

Oh, my God, Israel’s screaming at the honey obadger: “Yeah, you do all the work, you kill all our enemies for us while we sit back collecting your money and creating new enemies for you to fight. Thanks for Iraq, stupid. Thanks for Libya, stupid. Don’t let us down on Syria, stupid.” Oh, my God, look at the honey obadger have his badgerhood taken from him on a regular basis by Israeli politicians — but he don’t care, he don’t give a shit. He knows the Syrian government gassed its own people because Israel told him so. Honey obadger not really black, not really white, decided he’s more comfortable just being a Zionist. Honey obadger prides himself on “exceptionalism.”

In Syria, honey obadger kills side by side with cannibals – oh, that’s soooo disgusting — and people who behead Catholic priests, and “moderates” who post illustrations on their Facebook page showing jihadi dreams of burning down the US Capitol. He just takes whatever and shacks up with whoever he wants, he’s one nasty ass honey obadger. He don’t give a shit, he don’t care. He’s got neo-con work to do: he must destroy Hezbollah for Israel but he can’t do that till he wrecks Syria first and then on to Iran. The obadgers and the obushes change but the inexorable plan remains (wrecking Iraq, Libya, Syria, Sudan, Lebanon, Somali and Iran.) Honey obadger don’t care, he don’t give a shit. Oh, what a crazy fuck, nothing can stop the honey obadger.The American honey obadger: one of the freakiest creatures produced by late monopoly capitalism.

Randy Shields can be reached at music2hi4thehumanear@gmail.com. Read other articles by Randy, or visit Randy’s website.

Do you need and appreciate Black Agenda Report articles? Please click on the DONATE icon, and help us out, if you can.


More Stories


  • Letters from Our Readers 
    Jahan Choudhry BAR Comments Editor
    Letters from Our Readers 
    25 Mar 2020
    This week the Democratic Party and the failures of US healthcare were on your mind.
  • BAR Book Forum: Aparna Mishra Tarc’s “Literacy of the Other”
    Roberto Sirvent, BAR Book Forum Editor
    BAR Book Forum: Aparna Mishra Tarc’s “Literacy of the Other”
    25 Mar 2020
    The global citizenry shows increasing apathy towards each other’s social and political conditions.
  • BAR Abolition  Mutual Aid Spotlight: Ujimaa Medics
    Dean Spade and Roberto Sirvent, BAR Contributors
    BAR Abolition  Mutual Aid Spotlight: Ujimaa Medics
    25 Mar 2020
    Chicago’s  Ujimaa Medics bring a racial justice and cultural specificity lens to community health care through mutual aid.
  • Trump Using Virus to Privatize Government, Increase Repression
    Frank Chapman
    Trump Using Virus to Privatize Government, Increase Repression
    25 Mar 2020
    Trump’s administration is more interested in saving Wall Street and boosting their profits than they are in saving lives and meeting the needs of the people.
  • Joint Statement From Elected Prosecutors on COVID-19 and Addressing the Rights and Needs of Those in Custody
    Fair & Just Prosecution
    Joint Statement From Elected Prosecutors on COVID-19 and Addressing the Rights and Needs of Those in Custody
    25 Mar 2020
    Overcrowded jail, prison and immigration detention facilities force people together in close quarters without access to proper hygiene or medical care.
  • Load More
Subscribe
connect with us
about us
contact us